The Metz family
Monday, January 5, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
The 4th Christmas Stocking
I love decorating for Christmastime.... I love pulling out the pine scented candles and the hanging the twinkling white icicle lights above our front door...i love the colors, the joy, and the nostalgia of a tree full of ornaments- some homemade and some with special memories. Of course, the true celebration of Christmas for our family is the birth of our Savior, but I also enjoy all the jingle and lights that come along with the Christmas season.
This year Liam helped me hang up our stockings, and as we put our 3 stockings on the fireplace, we must have been feeling the same sudden twinge of sadness (like mother, like son?). As I hung them I wondered when we would be hanging a 4th stocking from the fire place. Should I have gotten one for our baby to be? There are exactly 4 hooks for hanging stockings on the fireplace after all...
I didnt dwell long on the thoughts and had already turned to find another decoration to hang when I realized Liam was still staring at the 3 stockings....
"Mommy, why do we only have three stockings? What about our baby? Our baby needs a stocking!"
I stopped and took a deep breath to keep the now increasingly sad "twinge" from bringing tears.
I thanked him for being sweet and remembering "his baby," and then I explained that we are going to wait until our baby comes before we get a stocking for him/her. He seemed satisfied and went on the play happily with his cars.
This was a wonderful Christmas full of family time, fun, and celebration of our Lord Jesus, but throughout the whole time of celebration, I couldn't seem to shake that little sad twinge in my heart.
Will we have 4 stockings next Christmas?
Was this our last Christmas as a family of three?
Is our baby's birthmother pregnant right now?
Is she trying to enjoy Christmas, but worrying about what to do?
Is she with family this Christmas?
I try not to dwell on any of these wonderings for very long. We have no news of our baby yet, so there are no answers to any of my questions yet.
But I feel like something...someONE...was missing this Christmas. It felt like we should have 4 stockings, because in my heart, we are a family of 4......just missing one right now.
Liam is eager too....despite being resolved to only having 3 stockings for now, he insisted that "his baby" needed a Christmas present- just in case they came in time. He picked out a blue baby maraca and we wrapped it. He wants to keep it wrapped until he/she comes. What a sweet boy!
Dave is patient...I know he looks forward to our baby coming home, and he is good at waiting (or at least he looks like he is "good at waiting."). I'm so grateful that he will just give me a hug when he finds me standing in the baby's room...he is a rock in our family. :) He helps us be patient.
so,
Dear Baby, (wherever you are).....we hope you are growing and healthy inside your mom right now. I pray for you daily and we are all eager to meet you, see your face, and snuggle you up. We can't wait to sing to you and rock you and kiss you and show you how loved you are......and buy you the 4th stocking to hang on our fireplace for your very first Christmas at home. I know your big brother will help you hang it up. Merry Christmas baby- we love you and we miss you.
Love,
your Mommy
This year Liam helped me hang up our stockings, and as we put our 3 stockings on the fireplace, we must have been feeling the same sudden twinge of sadness (like mother, like son?). As I hung them I wondered when we would be hanging a 4th stocking from the fire place. Should I have gotten one for our baby to be? There are exactly 4 hooks for hanging stockings on the fireplace after all...
I didnt dwell long on the thoughts and had already turned to find another decoration to hang when I realized Liam was still staring at the 3 stockings....
"Mommy, why do we only have three stockings? What about our baby? Our baby needs a stocking!"
I stopped and took a deep breath to keep the now increasingly sad "twinge" from bringing tears.
I thanked him for being sweet and remembering "his baby," and then I explained that we are going to wait until our baby comes before we get a stocking for him/her. He seemed satisfied and went on the play happily with his cars.
This was a wonderful Christmas full of family time, fun, and celebration of our Lord Jesus, but throughout the whole time of celebration, I couldn't seem to shake that little sad twinge in my heart.
Will we have 4 stockings next Christmas?
Was this our last Christmas as a family of three?
Is our baby's birthmother pregnant right now?
Is she trying to enjoy Christmas, but worrying about what to do?
Is she with family this Christmas?
I try not to dwell on any of these wonderings for very long. We have no news of our baby yet, so there are no answers to any of my questions yet.
But I feel like something...someONE...was missing this Christmas. It felt like we should have 4 stockings, because in my heart, we are a family of 4......just missing one right now.
Liam is eager too....despite being resolved to only having 3 stockings for now, he insisted that "his baby" needed a Christmas present- just in case they came in time. He picked out a blue baby maraca and we wrapped it. He wants to keep it wrapped until he/she comes. What a sweet boy!
Dave is patient...I know he looks forward to our baby coming home, and he is good at waiting (or at least he looks like he is "good at waiting."). I'm so grateful that he will just give me a hug when he finds me standing in the baby's room...he is a rock in our family. :) He helps us be patient.
so,
Dear Baby, (wherever you are).....we hope you are growing and healthy inside your mom right now. I pray for you daily and we are all eager to meet you, see your face, and snuggle you up. We can't wait to sing to you and rock you and kiss you and show you how loved you are......and buy you the 4th stocking to hang on our fireplace for your very first Christmas at home. I know your big brother will help you hang it up. Merry Christmas baby- we love you and we miss you.
Love,
your Mommy
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
"Second verse, same as the first".....but with something new :)
The last time i posted an update, we were excitedly heading toward the "matching" phase of our adoption. However, we were in for a bit of a roller coaster between that post and this one. Just after our second of three home study visits, we were put "on hold." It was a very challenging and emotional "hold" for me, and since there wasn't much to update in that time..i didnt......until tonight :)
So......i feel like a broken record...."second verse, same as the first....".....we did not finish when we expected to, but this time i can say its for REAL.....
Our final visit has finally happened, and as of tonight we are officially DONE our home study process!
YAY- i couldnt be more relieved and joyful and excited to move forward...forward into the 'matching'...forward into the real waiting.....forward into the great unknown that God has already planned out for us. What a ride this will be!
Our family profile can now be viewed by birthfamilies and we will either find ourselves matching up with a pregnant birthmother (and eagerly awaiting our due date), or we could get a surprise phone call that gives us less than a day, or a few days notice for a baby coming home.
When i was pregnant with Liam, I remember wondering all sorts of things...."will he have blonde hair? will he looks like me or Dave? will he like to read? will he play sports? what will his first job be?" The wonderings went on and on.....
With this baby though, I havent thought once about toddlerhood, or future hobbies or jobs...or even about what kind of infant they will be.....because i dont even know basic stuff, like: WHEN they will be born, WHERE they will be born, WHAT ethnicity or gender they are....and that list goes on and on.
For all the unknowns with Liam, we at least knew approximately when he would be born (ok, he was a couple weeks late, but we were close), and where (although he threw us for a loop and wanted to be born in the hospital, contrary to our plan). And we were pretty darn sure he'd be caucasian ;)
The unknowns with this baby are enormous- so much that its hard to even sort through all the 'wonderings.'....we'll just have to wait and see...and THEN we can begin wondering :)
With so many unknowns ahead, and much uncertainty, we ARE certain of this.......God has a perfect plan for our baby (wherever they may be), and it will be a wild but amazing ride to find our baby. We will need to lean hard on God to emotionally sustain us and provide for us, so we ask for your prayers in this.....wisdom in chosing our baby, emotional strength, and the ability to adjust to many news things in a very short time.
Thank you for hanging with us in prayer during these past few "silent" months, and thank you for continuing to share our joy as we now move closer to bringing baby home.
-Nifer
FAQ's:
Q Where are we adopting from?
A: PA or DE
Q: What are the laws in those states?
A: in PA the paperwork is finalized when our baby is 30 days old, but they can come home with us immediately from the hospital. in DE, the baby needs to remain in state for 2 weeks, at which time all paperwork is finalized. This means we would need to move to DE for 2 weeks if we receive our baby form that state.
Q: What is the time frame at this point?
A: In the domestic infant program, our agency's wait time is 1 day to 1 year. It could be a quick placement if the baby is already born, or we might have a few weeks or months notice if the birthmother hasnt given birth yet.
So......i feel like a broken record...."second verse, same as the first....".....we did not finish when we expected to, but this time i can say its for REAL.....
Our final visit has finally happened, and as of tonight we are officially DONE our home study process!
YAY- i couldnt be more relieved and joyful and excited to move forward...forward into the 'matching'...forward into the real waiting.....forward into the great unknown that God has already planned out for us. What a ride this will be!
Our family profile can now be viewed by birthfamilies and we will either find ourselves matching up with a pregnant birthmother (and eagerly awaiting our due date), or we could get a surprise phone call that gives us less than a day, or a few days notice for a baby coming home.
When i was pregnant with Liam, I remember wondering all sorts of things...."will he have blonde hair? will he looks like me or Dave? will he like to read? will he play sports? what will his first job be?" The wonderings went on and on.....
With this baby though, I havent thought once about toddlerhood, or future hobbies or jobs...or even about what kind of infant they will be.....because i dont even know basic stuff, like: WHEN they will be born, WHERE they will be born, WHAT ethnicity or gender they are....and that list goes on and on.
For all the unknowns with Liam, we at least knew approximately when he would be born (ok, he was a couple weeks late, but we were close), and where (although he threw us for a loop and wanted to be born in the hospital, contrary to our plan). And we were pretty darn sure he'd be caucasian ;)
The unknowns with this baby are enormous- so much that its hard to even sort through all the 'wonderings.'....we'll just have to wait and see...and THEN we can begin wondering :)
With so many unknowns ahead, and much uncertainty, we ARE certain of this.......God has a perfect plan for our baby (wherever they may be), and it will be a wild but amazing ride to find our baby. We will need to lean hard on God to emotionally sustain us and provide for us, so we ask for your prayers in this.....wisdom in chosing our baby, emotional strength, and the ability to adjust to many news things in a very short time.
Thank you for hanging with us in prayer during these past few "silent" months, and thank you for continuing to share our joy as we now move closer to bringing baby home.
-Nifer
FAQ's:
Q Where are we adopting from?
A: PA or DE
Q: What are the laws in those states?
A: in PA the paperwork is finalized when our baby is 30 days old, but they can come home with us immediately from the hospital. in DE, the baby needs to remain in state for 2 weeks, at which time all paperwork is finalized. This means we would need to move to DE for 2 weeks if we receive our baby form that state.
Q: What is the time frame at this point?
A: In the domestic infant program, our agency's wait time is 1 day to 1 year. It could be a quick placement if the baby is already born, or we might have a few weeks or months notice if the birthmother hasnt given birth yet.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
July 1st: "due any day"
July 1st......we don't have a "due date", but at least we do have THIS date.
This is the date we will finish our 3 home study evaluations (done by our Bethany Case Worker), and this is the day we will become eligible to be matched with a child (or a pregnant birth mother).
After July 1st, I guess you could say we are "due any time." In reality that "any time" is not likely to be July 2nd, and maybe not in July at all.....it may not even be in 2014.
Only the Lord knows when we will meet our new baby....He has never steered us wrong to this point and provided what we need, so I trust Him to bring out baby into our lives at just the right moment.
(Now if I can only keep my eager, antsy self from wanting Him to hurry it up! haha!)
So, you may wonder (and some of you have asked)..."what exactly will happen after July 1st?"
Well...here's what we know....
As of July 1st our "family profile" will be made available for birth families to see. Our profile will be shown only to parents who's circumstances/preferences match ours.
Then we hurry up and wait......our profile will be shown and when a birth mother/birth parents want to talk with us or meet us, we'll set up a time and get to know one another.
They may pick us....they may not.....some people ride that wave many times before they have a successful "match." I'm not sure how to really prepare for the emotions that will undoubtedly accompany the ups and downs, so I'm praying God will grant great patience and temper my tendency to get super excited....until its time to get SUPER EXCITED :)
We could be matched with a birth mother who is 5 months pregnant, or we could find that a baby has already been born and is awaiting a family! Again, only God knows.....
From here on out, it is becoming more and more real that our baby is not some dream baby with no face, no name.....but he or she is very possibly in utero at this moment....and he or she will be coming to our family soon!!!!!
I can't wait to meet you baby Metz!
This is the date we will finish our 3 home study evaluations (done by our Bethany Case Worker), and this is the day we will become eligible to be matched with a child (or a pregnant birth mother).
After July 1st, I guess you could say we are "due any time." In reality that "any time" is not likely to be July 2nd, and maybe not in July at all.....it may not even be in 2014.
Only the Lord knows when we will meet our new baby....He has never steered us wrong to this point and provided what we need, so I trust Him to bring out baby into our lives at just the right moment.
(Now if I can only keep my eager, antsy self from wanting Him to hurry it up! haha!)
So, you may wonder (and some of you have asked)..."what exactly will happen after July 1st?"
Well...here's what we know....
As of July 1st our "family profile" will be made available for birth families to see. Our profile will be shown only to parents who's circumstances/preferences match ours.
Then we hurry up and wait......our profile will be shown and when a birth mother/birth parents want to talk with us or meet us, we'll set up a time and get to know one another.
They may pick us....they may not.....some people ride that wave many times before they have a successful "match." I'm not sure how to really prepare for the emotions that will undoubtedly accompany the ups and downs, so I'm praying God will grant great patience and temper my tendency to get super excited....until its time to get SUPER EXCITED :)
We could be matched with a birth mother who is 5 months pregnant, or we could find that a baby has already been born and is awaiting a family! Again, only God knows.....
From here on out, it is becoming more and more real that our baby is not some dream baby with no face, no name.....but he or she is very possibly in utero at this moment....and he or she will be coming to our family soon!!!!!
I can't wait to meet you baby Metz!
Sweet Blessings
What a wonderful blessing we experienced during our "Faces of Adoption" Event and Bake Sale!
We were blessed to learn, and be encouraged, from the personal adoption stories of Anne and Matt (two Grace Chapel friends). Sharing such personal aspects of their lives posed emotional challenges for them, and we are so grateful that they were willing to share!
We also got to hear more about adoption and foster care from Heather Bert, the Director of Bethany Christian Services. After the event several people told me how they learned a great deal that they "never knew" about adoption, and were really touched by the personal stories. Several even mentioned that they might consider adoption or foster car ei nthe future as a result of what they heard! Praise the Lord!
In the midst of all this, we had many folks join us for some yummy bake sale fun! We had even more baked goods than we expected and even though we ended up with some leftover, we were graciously allowed to bring them to the AWANA meeting that week, where we were able to sell all the rest.
We want to give a truly heartfelt THANK YOU to those who baked, bought, came, shared stories, encouraged us, planned, organized, publicized, and helped work the sale. The proceeds of the sale were a great blessing toward helping us afford our adoption!!! A very special thanks to Christina Reif who did not hesitate and jumped right into planning this bake sale once she heard of our plans to adopt. What a wonderful gift from a friend! Here are a few pics from the event (just in case you missed it!)....
Nif, Dave, and Liam
We were blessed to learn, and be encouraged, from the personal adoption stories of Anne and Matt (two Grace Chapel friends). Sharing such personal aspects of their lives posed emotional challenges for them, and we are so grateful that they were willing to share!
We also got to hear more about adoption and foster care from Heather Bert, the Director of Bethany Christian Services. After the event several people told me how they learned a great deal that they "never knew" about adoption, and were really touched by the personal stories. Several even mentioned that they might consider adoption or foster car ei nthe future as a result of what they heard! Praise the Lord!
In the midst of all this, we had many folks join us for some yummy bake sale fun! We had even more baked goods than we expected and even though we ended up with some leftover, we were graciously allowed to bring them to the AWANA meeting that week, where we were able to sell all the rest.
We want to give a truly heartfelt THANK YOU to those who baked, bought, came, shared stories, encouraged us, planned, organized, publicized, and helped work the sale. The proceeds of the sale were a great blessing toward helping us afford our adoption!!! A very special thanks to Christina Reif who did not hesitate and jumped right into planning this bake sale once she heard of our plans to adopt. What a wonderful gift from a friend! Here are a few pics from the event (just in case you missed it!)....
Nif, Dave, and Liam
Thank you for your help Amy, Rachel ,and Rachel!!!
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Thoughts from the "first trimester"....
I've thought a lot about how this baby's entrance in to our family is so different, but also so very similar in a lot of ways to when we had our son almost 4 years ago.
As I write this I am staring at a big stack of papers that include things like FBI clearance forms, CPR certifications, pages of information on our beliefs, backgrounds, jobs, financial info.....this has been our first trimester. (We are waiting on the arrival of one last form and we wil lbe submitting it all THIS WEEK!)
No one asked our deepest darkest secrets when we got pregnant with Liam....no one made sure we could perform infant CPR in case of emergencies....no one double and triple checked our references and asked if we would be suitable parents.....no one verified tha we had a support system and a safe home....
As we worked through piles of adoption paperwork for the last 3 months, I occasionally felt a sense of "is all this really necessary? We didnt do this with Liam..." Then I realized, we SHOULD have done this with Liam. Our children are special and precious- both of them- and while we did our very best to be prepared for Liam, and with this baby we are scrutinized more officially, it is good and safe to be sure we are ready for this baby....or ANY baby. I'm so thankful that our agency is thorough with this process- for the sake of the children and the parents (adoptive and birth parents).
In the last 3 months, there has also been excitement, joy, eager expectation, and wondering about our new baby....will it be a boy or a girl? What will he or she look like?
These were all things I wondered about and found excitement in when I was pregnant with Liam. With Liam we had occasional OB visits and ultrasound pictures to enjoy....with this baby I have to close my eyes and just imagine the baby I have pictured in my heart.
Liam has given up his room and moved on to a new "big boy" room...and as the baby's room comes together with a slightly new look, I'm more and more excited to eventually have a new baby in it! I go in the room sometimes and just look at the few "gender neutral" onesies hanging in the closet.....will they be big enough? too small?
A lot of things are the same....friends and family sharing in our joy, starting the dreadfully difficult process of agreeing on baby names (Liam has chosen the names "Dora the Explorer" and "Liam Jr."), getting the room ready....
And a lot of things are different....no morning sickness (hallelujah!)....feeling more mentally prepared in general in the absence of difficult pregnancy related symptoms.....having no idea about a "due date".....no chances to share ultrasound pics or know that our baby is "the size of a kumquat this week".....
I am labelling the completion of our home study paperwork the "end of our first trimester" and as I look back on this process so far, I'm just overwhelmingly thankful for the blessings God has given us in that time. I'm thankful to God for His great plan for us. I'm thankful for my husband who allowed God to open his heart up to this baby. I'm thankful for the family and friends- and folks we barely know- who have shared in our joy and encouraged us.
And I am thankful for the birthmom who will choose life for our baby.
I can't wait to meet you, baby Metz.....soon...soon....
Mommy loves you!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
A Sweet Treat...
The "Faces of Adoption"
Community Adoption Event and Bake Sale
Sunday, May 4th, 2014 @ 'The Rock'
(19 E. Eagle Rd, Havertown)
Parking at Grace Chapel (1 W. Eagle Rd, Havertown)
Bake Sale begins at 12:30, Adoption Event begins at 1pm
All proceeds from the bake sale will benefit our family's adoption.
Calling all bakers of homemade yummy deliciousness....we need your help!
Treats that are simple, fancy, unique, big, small....we love them all!
Thank you for using your gifts to help us!
To sign up to donate baked goods, click here.
Join us for the free adoption event where you will
learn about adoption, and hear
personal stories from people
in our community who are touched
by adoption.
Please share this event with friends, coworkers, neighbors- it's open to all!
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