The Metz family

The Metz family

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Our baby is just "our baby"

Happy New Year! 2015.....the year of our new baby.
We hope!
     With a new baby on the horizon, and many friends having babies of their own recently, it occurs to me that even though our baby will come to us in a different way than the "bio babies" being born around us, they will still be simply..... a baby.
...and we will simply be parents of a new baby.
...and Liam will simply be a big brother.
     We will not refer to the baby as "the adopted baby" and we dont want to be referred to as "the adoptive parents"....we are just "the parents." Our children do not need special prefixes and don't need to be referred to in ways that distinguish them from each other. They are simply "our children."  Having a newborn in the house again will likely be much the same as it was 4 years ago (but hopefully with less hours of crying!)
     This week, a friend asked how they can help us when our baby to be arrives....(what a great joy to know others care and are there to support you!)...and I imagine we'll need the same kind of help that any parents of a new baby will need. Once our baby is home, they- and we- are just like any other newborn, any other parents, any other family with the same struggles of sleepless newborn nights and crying fits and endless dirty diapers.
     With these thoughts in mind, I found a blog called "Joy Comes in the Morning".
    In this post, Angela gives some great ideas for how to help waiting families, and how to help once the baby has arrived. Many of these ways to help are great for not only waiting families but for biological families awaiting the birth of their baby.
     This encouraged me to think more about being the hands and feet of Jesus to other families when a new baby joins them....I hope it will encourage you too!!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Adoption's roots

I love history...reading about it, visiting historical places, and learning what life was like in different times and for different people. Since we began our home study process last year, I've become more and more curious about the history of adoption in the US.  I found this link that gives a brief overview of the history of domestic adoption in the US.

There is intense sadness in the way so many children were treated during this history....history may have started out with 'good intentions' but the way of carrying out those intentions often had insensitive and sad results. One of those historical moments that both fascinated the history buff in me, and brought tears to the mother in me, is the Orphan Trains.

All this talk about history makes me wonder what kind of culture our family will embrace and become part of when our baby arrives....maybe our baby will be of south american descent, maybe asian, maybe a combination of several.  I'm excited about teaching Liam to know (and love) his history, his family history, and his heritage as he grows (he already has his own junior bagpipe!!)
I wonder what culture, heritage, and history we will absorb into our newly blended family once baby comes...I hope we have some details to share with baby so they can appreciate their roots as well. It will be fun to learn about another kind of heritage and celebrate all the histories in our blended family!

notes from another waiting family...

It's good to be in good company :)
This blog is written by a friend of mine who is also "waiting for baby" times when i feel like no one understands the emotions, anxieties, and occasional turmoil of the adoption process (so far), i have often turned to blogs of strangers for companionship and help. Its sweet to know I now have a friend who feels the same things!!
I understand wanting to celebrate in big ways, and friend- we are celebrating with you as you wait!!

all Gods children adoption

Sunday, January 4, 2015

The 4th Christmas Stocking

     I love decorating for Christmastime.... I love pulling out the pine scented candles and the hanging the twinkling white icicle lights above our front door...i love the colors, the joy, and the nostalgia of a tree full of ornaments- some homemade and some with special memories.  Of course, the true celebration of Christmas for our family is the birth of our Savior, but I also enjoy all the jingle and lights that come along with the Christmas season.

     This year Liam helped me hang up our stockings, and as we put our 3 stockings on the fireplace, we must have been feeling the same sudden twinge of sadness (like mother, like son?).  As I hung them I wondered when we would be hanging a 4th stocking from the fire place.  Should I have gotten one for our baby to be? There are exactly 4 hooks for hanging stockings on the fireplace after all...
     I didnt dwell long on the thoughts and had already turned to find another decoration to hang when I realized Liam was still staring at the 3 stockings....

"Mommy, why do we only have three stockings? What about our baby? Our baby needs a stocking!"

     I stopped and took a deep breath to keep the now increasingly sad "twinge" from bringing tears.
I thanked him for being sweet and remembering "his baby," and then I explained that we are going to wait until our baby comes before we get a stocking for him/her.  He seemed satisfied and went on the play happily with his cars.

     This was a wonderful Christmas full of family time, fun, and celebration of our Lord Jesus, but throughout the whole time of celebration, I couldn't seem to shake that little sad twinge in my heart.
Will we have 4 stockings next Christmas? 
Was this our last Christmas as a family of three?
Is our baby's birthmother pregnant right now?
Is she trying to enjoy Christmas, but worrying about what to do?
Is she with family this Christmas?
I try not to dwell on any of these wonderings for very long.  We have no news of our baby yet, so there are no answers to any of my questions yet. 

     But I feel like something...someONE...was missing this Christmas.  It felt like we should have 4 stockings, because in my heart, we are a family of 4......just missing one right now. 
     Liam is eager too....despite being resolved to only having 3 stockings for now, he insisted that "his baby" needed a Christmas present- just in case they came in time.  He picked out a blue baby maraca and we wrapped it.  He wants to keep it wrapped until he/she comes. What a sweet boy!
     Dave is patient...I know he looks forward to our baby coming home, and he is good at waiting (or at least he looks like he is "good at waiting.").  I'm so grateful that he will just give me a hug when he finds me standing in the baby's room...he is a rock in our family. :)  He helps us be patient.

Dear Baby, (wherever you are).....we hope you are growing and healthy inside your mom right now.  I pray for you daily and we are all eager to meet you, see your face, and snuggle you up. We can't wait to sing to you and rock you and kiss you and show you how loved you are......and buy you the 4th stocking to hang on our fireplace for your very first Christmas at home.  I know your big brother will help you hang it up. Merry Christmas baby- we love you and we miss you.
your Mommy